Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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