im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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