i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
