yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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