well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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