Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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