She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
