She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
