All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
