We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Panties = found
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