So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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