i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
