I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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