'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
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I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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