somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
