My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize