Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
