I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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