with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
