I hate your face
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
