Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
