chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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