Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize