You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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