you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
