your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I seem to have left my pride at pride
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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