do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
