And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
