i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
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