I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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