I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
