girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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