Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize