I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
