Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
