your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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