is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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