Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
