Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
