so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
