singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
