Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
time to smoke my breakfast
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
we're so committed to being not committed
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
