every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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