we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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