i need an iv and a liver transplant
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
