Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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