Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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