hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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