Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
