i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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