margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
