i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize