i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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