Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
