I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Is it because I queefed?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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