Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It's blow job season.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Randomize
