We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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