O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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