i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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