Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I would fuck him just for his dog
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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