He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize