I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
