kristin has been a bad kristin
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
