I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
